


Strongly, With Feelings

by Woofemus



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 20:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17835239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woofemus/pseuds/Woofemus
Summary: “Do you have feelings for Saya?” she blurts out.The pen drops from Ran’s hand, clacking against the ground. Ran immediately whips her head to her just as Tomoe’s eyes widen.“Wait, no, that isn’t what I meant—I meant, uh, what I meant was do you have feelings!”Ran narrows her eyes.





	Strongly, With Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> had a sudden urge to finish up this shitpost many months later oops
> 
> dedicated to sarah, ty for continuing to feed me everything

Tomoe has a problem.

Well, it’s not that it’s a _problem_ exactly, but it’s—well, a little more complicated than she likes to admit. It’s been bothering her ever since she’s noticed, and she’d like to do something about it.

There’s one person Tomoe trusts to go with this.

As Tomoe lets go of the door, it swings back and loudly slams shut. It’s loud enough to make Tomoe wince, and also make the other person on the rooftop look up with a scowl.

“Moca, at least shut the door quietly—eh?”

Ran is blinking at her, clearly surprised. Tomoe’s kind of surprised herself too, but she’s up here now. She gestures to the spot next to Ran.

“Uh, can I sit here?”

“... yeah, sure,” Ran says with a shrug. She even scoots over a bit to give some space, not that Tomoe thinks she needs to. There’s tons of space on the empty rooftop, but it touches Tomoe all the same for Ran to try to be considerate.

They sit in silence. Tomoe twiddles her fingers. Ran’s pencil taps against the notebook she’s writing. Tomoe’s tempted to look over, but Ran wouldn’t appreciate that.

“... you need something?” Ran finally asks after several minutes pass by without them saying anything. Tomoe clears her throat.

“Ran, can I ask you something?” she asks, trying to hold back her nervousness. She’s decided Ran might be the best person to ask about... her situation, but it still doesn’t mean she’s not nervous about it.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Ran says, giving her a quick glance before going back down to her notebook. Tomoe takes a deep breath—

“Do you have feelings for Saya?” she blurts out.

The pen drops from Ran’s hand, clacking against the ground. Ran immediately whips her head to her just as Tomoe’s eyes widen.

“Wait, no, that isn’t what I meant—I meant, uh, what I meant was do you have feelings!”

Ran narrows her eyes.

Tomoe blinks at her, realizes again what she’s just said, and backtracks again.

“Sorry, just, uh, let me think again real quick.” It’s apparently a little harder to connect her mind to the words she wants to say than she realized.

“... go ahead,” Ran answers, stony faced as always save for the small blush lighting up her face now. She reaches over to pick up her pencil. Tomoe spends the time to carefully think over her words. When she thinks she’s figured it out, she starts again.

“I like you,” Tomoe says.

Ran’s pencil drops again.

“H-Her!” Tomoe quickly clarifies.

“... Yamabuki-san,” Ran finally corrects. Tomoe nods.

“Yeah, her!”

Ran puts a hand on her face and sighs into it. “Tomoe, this isn’t like you.”

“Y-you think!?” Tomoe puts both her hands on her face, more than embarrassed at this point. Of all the people to do this to, it had to be _Ran._ But, maybe it’s a good thing that it’s Ran and not any of the others. Ran _gets_ her and won’t tease her for how she’s acting right now.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m not making a lot of sense,” Tomoe says. Her fingers still twiddle together. She might need to do some solo drum practice right after, it’d feel good to go banging some of her drums right now.

“It happens,” Ran says, in a way that feels like she’s speaking from experience. Tomoe thinks she probably is, and probably has it even rougher than Tomoe herself. It isn’t as if Moca’s out to make things easy for either of them. “So? I don’t think you came up here just to tell me this?”

“I just thought you might be able to help me out,” Tomoe mumbles, feeling the heat creep into her face. It’s embarrassing admitting something like that aloud, especially to Ran.

“... why’d you come to me? I think Tsugumi, or even Himari might be better for this.” Ran sounds plenty embarrassed for both of them.

“I-I know, but, uh,” Tomoe awkwardly scratches the back of her neck. “I just thought you might be better to tell me what I’m feeling. You’re good at writing down your feelings and singing it, so…”

“Oh.” Ran quickly looks away in that way that Tomoe knows she’s embarrassed but also secretly happy. Tomoe still thinks it’s a little funny how Ran knows exactly how to sing her feelings out but still gets embarrassed expressing them normally. Of course, that’s just how Ran is, and Tomoe likes that part of her too. And, with a friend like Moca around… Tomoe understands.

“Uh, then… tell her?” Ran says with a shrug. “Yamabuki-san, I mean. Not me.”

“Yeah, but…” Tomoe doesn’t know what’s bugging her. “I just… I don’t know.”

“Are you scared?”

“I… hm…” Tomoe doesn’t really know. She knows she’s got _something_ for Saya, something that’s markedly different than what she feels for the rest of Afterglow. She’s known Saya almost just as long as she’s known the others, but to her, Afterglow is like a family. They’ll always be together, no matter what.

And so, to her, Saya is…

Tomoe can feel her face heating up again, just at the thought of Saya. Her heart is beating so fast that it might as well be one of the fast and too quick tempos both she and Ako liked to play at when they first started learning drums.

To her, Saya is… _warm._ She doesn’t really have any better words to describe it, but this is what she feels for Saya, something warm that sparks in her chest and makes her feel happy. Almost like the sunlight, which Tomoe knows is terribly cheesy even for her, but that’s what Saya feels like, a warmth that surrounds Tomoe seemingly from both inside and outside.

“Tomoe, you’re not the type of person who sits around doing nothing,” Ran says. “If you don’t say anything, it’ll eat at you inside. That’s the type of person you are.”

“So… are you saying I should just go for it?” Tomoe frowns. “But what if Saya doesn’t, uh, feel that way?” Even as Tomoe says that, she feels a small part of her hurt at the thought. Tomoe’s always been someone who’s thrown in her all for something, but the thought of it not being good enough for Saya—

“Even if she doesn’t, you’ll feel better after you say it. No regrets, right?” Ran shrugs. “No time else but the present, you know?”

“... yeah. Yeah! You’re right.” Tomoe nods. And nods again, like she’s trying to cement her resolve. It works a little. “Thanks, Ran. Knew you had the words to kick my butt into gear.”

Ran only shakes her head. “You just needed someone to tell you run ahead. Which I think you should do. You’ve never been one to hold back, so why should you change now? Even if it’s with something like feelings or being unsure of how the other person feels… it doesn’t really matter, does it? You just have to look straight ahead and not have any regrets. That’s what the Tomoe I know would do.”

Tomoe widens her eyes and looks over at Ran, who’s gone back to looking down at her notebook and seemingly unbothered by what she’s just said. Ran still has trouble expressing her feelings properly but she can say things like this with zero problems. It makes Tomoe laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll do that then,” she says, grinning. She feels much better, and lighter now. Tomoe’s glad she’s gone to see Ran instead. She knows the others would tell her the same thing, but there’s something about hearing it from Ran that makes it feel… a little more poignant, more heavy. Ran likes to speak with purpose, after all.

“Thanks, Ran, you really knew what to say!”

Ran glances up at her, and shrugs as if it wasn’t a big deal, but Tomoe knows she’s a little embarrassed by the hint of color on her cheeks that she catches. “Yeah, no problem. Good luck, Tomoe. Not that I think you need it,” she mutters afterward.

“Yeah!” Tomoe pumps a fist, not hearing Ran’s last words. “Oh, and, by the way Ran… please don’t talk about this with anyone.”

Ran nods as solemnly as she can. “Of course.”

This is Tomoe’s first mistake.

* * *

“Tomo-chin.”

Moca looms over Tomoe, casting a shadow over her and her lunch. Tomoe blinks up at her, wondering if she’s about to be subject to one of Moca’s teasing sessions. Unknown to her, Ran is tensing up, gesturing with her hands to tell Moca to stop, who doesn’t.

“Hey there,” Tomoe says after she swallows down her bite. “What’s up?”

Moca gestures with her hand. “I gotta talk to you real quick, Tomo-chin. By yourself,” she quickly adds when she sees Himari leaning closer.

“Ooh?!” Himari’s eyes are sparkling. “What’s this? A new development happening?!”

“Huh?” Tomoe’s not sure what Moca needs.

“Heard you need some help with…” Moca lowers her voice to a whisper, “feelings.”

Tomoe nearly chokes on her food. “Where did you hear that from?!” The moment the question comes out of her mouth is when she realizes her answer.

Let it be said that Moca is, unfortunately, scarily good at getting secrets out of Ran. Tomoe’s not sure why she hadn’t expected this to happen. It was a good talk with Ran, but now she has to deal with the aftermath.

Tomoe clears her throat. And clears it again. And does it a third time, just to be safe.

She stands up, grabs Moca’s arm, and marches off, _away_ from Himari’s protests.

“H-Himari-chan! Wait, you can’t go—Himari-chan!” Tsugumi’s voice, and Himari’s too, start getting faint the further Tomoe drags Moca away. Tomoe makes a promise to stop by Tsugumi’s cafe later and give her some gifts for holding Himari at bay.

Once they’re a good safe distance away, Tomoe finally lets go of Moca’s arm and turns around, already rubbing her forehead. “Alright, so, what did you want to say?”

“Tomo-chin, I just want to let you know,” and here, Moca stops to reach out and pat Tomoe’s hand. Tomoe can’t help but be a little skeptical here, especially since Moca’s got that lazy half-lidded look to her again and Tomoe can’t tell if she’s about to be sincere or mess with her. “I’ve got feelings too.”

Tomoe blinks.

“... I hope so,” she reluctantly answers.

Moca’s grin grows a little. “For Saya, I mean.”

Tomoe chokes.

“R-really—w-wait, Moca, you’re—you too—hold on—” Tomoe’s mind is spinning a little. This—she hadn’t expected something like this happening. She’d thought Moca and Ran were—well, now that she thinks about it, they never really _said_ anything—but did they actually _need_ to? It’s almost like an open secret between all of them, but—

“I, um, then, you, ah,” Tomoe doesn’t know what to say. She’s still in shock over everything. And with all the people it had to be, it had to be Moca. Wait, no, this makes sense. Moca likes Yamabuki Bakery too. Tomoe doesn’t even know how many times she goes there, how many point cards she’s gone through over all the years. Moca probably chats up Saya as much as she can, trying to get some free bread out of her.

Tomoe doesn’t know what to do. Just because _she_ likes Saya doesn’t mean others aren’t free to like her too. Saya’s such a nice and wonderful girl, of course it makes sense that there’s other people who feel the same way. It’s not surprising at all. Tomoe’s… not the only one who feels the way she does. That’s… that’s fine. That’s fine! Saya’s got a lot of people to choose from! And she deserves to have someone treat her right! Not to say that Tomoe won’t, but if she doesn’t feel the same for Tomoe the way Tomoe does for her, then—then that’s perfectly fine too! As long as Saya’s happy!

But, Tomoe’s still going to try. She turns to Moca, more determined than ever. “I won’t—”

“Nah, just kidding.” Moca grins at her.

“... eh?” Tomoe blinks. And blinks again. Another time, and Moca’s absolutely terrible expression of mischief doesn’t change at all. “Moca!”

“That was good, huh?” Moca’s eyebrows waggle up and down. Tomoe feels her fingers twitching, trying very hard to resist the urge to reach out and grab Moca and just _shake_ her, as if it could bring back those precious minutes Tomoe just spent agonizing over the thought of having to compete with _Moca_.

“No!” Tomoe growls before she sighs, more tired than upset now. “That was an awful joke.”

“Aww, Moca-chan thought you’d enjoy it.” Moca’s smile changes, something that makes a bad feeling run through Tomoe. “As an apology, Moca-chan will help you out. Ah!” and she wags a finger. “No need to thank Moca-chan for her help yet!”

“... I wasn’t going to,” Tomoe mutters, narrowing her eyes as she looks at Moca. “And what help? What makes you think I need help?”

“Tomo-chin, were you just going to march right up to Saya and declare your love for her?” Moca asks suddenly.

“Eh!? What? I—what?!” Tomoe’s waving her hands around, wishing she could do something to make Moca stop smiling in that knowing way.

… but she isn’t wrong.

“... maybe,” Tomoe finally says, feeling slightly sullen as she looks away from Moca’s growing smile. “Nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“See, that’s where you need help. Girls like Saya like a different way. Moca-chan’s got it all figured out, don’t worry,” she sings while wagging a finger. “Then you’ll have a free lifetime of bread! Yay!”

Tomoe doesn’t know what to say to that so she settles for glowering at Moca. Not that it really affects Moca, who only gives her a thumbs-up.

“... why?” Tomoe crosses her arms, trying to stare down Moca. Maybe if she’s stern enough, Moca might reconsider.

“Ah, Tomo-chin…” Moca wags her finger again. “Don’t you wanna… _impress_ Saya? She’s always got a lot of people lining up to meet her, after all! Like me!”

Tomoe feels a lump form in her throat. “Don’t… don’t say that.”

“So! You gotta wow her! Like, really!” Moca pauses then, looking her up and down, making sure to look over her arms and stomach area. “Well… Moca-chan doesn’t think you really have anything to worry about, though.”

Tomoe… doesn’t know what that means.

“Trust Moca-chan!” she finishes, giving her a thumbs-up. Tomoe honestly has zero idea what’s going on, and why Moca is just so fired. She gets the feeling she’s playing into one of Moca’s weird schemes instead, but seeing how oddly determined she seems to be… Tomoe might as well see where this’ll take her. If anything, she knows she put a stop to it if she absolutely needs to.

This is Tomoe’s second mistake.

* * *

“Tell me again, why _I’m_ going to the bakery with you?”

Moca looks over at Tomoe with a lazy grin, the one that tells Tomoe everything is about to go wrong through every fault of Moca’s.

“Just trust good old Moca-chan,” she says that makes Tomoe want to do exactly the opposite. But Tomoe keeps her mouth shut, looks off to the side, and tries very hard not to sigh.

She doesn’t want to admit it but even though she resolved to tell Saya her feelings, after thinking about it a bit more, Tomoe realizes she really can’t just… _march_ right up into the bakery and do something like declare something like that to Saya over the counter. It feels… so impersonal, and… Tomoe doesn’t want to think about other people who’ve done the same thing. Tomoe doesn’t want to be one of _those_ people, if Saya does have any.

Tomoe’s not a romantic at all, but she does want it to be a little special. When she thinks about what to do, though, she’s at a loss. And no way is she going to ask Himari for help here! Himari’s going to make some kind of huge spectacle of it! That’s the last thing Tomoe wants. Saya doesn’t feel like a girl who wants something extravagant. But she deserves it, though, Tomoe thinks.

They arrive at the bakery, Tomoe dreading her steps as she lags behind Moca, who confidently strolls inside. Thankfully, there aren’t any other customers around inside the bakery when they get there. Unfortunately, Saya’s at the counter today. Tomoe was half hoping it would be Saya’s dad instead, so Moca could give up on her plan or… postpone it for a different day, so Tomoe can convince her out of it.

But, no, today is Saya. Well, this might be okay, too, Tomoe thinks. Whatever Moca wants to do, it might be better to get it out of the way now than later.

“Moca!” Saya greets. “And Tomoe, too,” she says, her eyes crinkling in that way she seems to do when she looks at Tomoe. It makes Tomoe feel something fuzzy and itchy inside every time she sees it, but it’s not a bad feeling. She gives Saya a wave, hoping she doesn’t seem too awkward.

Moca waltzes right up to the counter, leans across it so forward like she’s trying to grab Saya’s ear, but instead says, very loudly and obnoxiously, “Saya-chan, Tomo-chin’s got something to say to you.”

_Hold on._

Tomoe wants to yell at her. Her mouth’s already open, the first sound of Moca’s name already rising through the back of her throat, but Saya’s eyes glance up toward her, and she chokes back the rest of the name. Saya’s equal parts confused and amused, and she’s looking at Tomoe like she should explain what should be going on.

Tomoe would love to do just that, except her mind’s going everywhere at once. She didn’t think Moca would actually be _serious_ about this, and she’s gone and set this up, and Tomoe’s honestly torn between going right in for it or… or...

Nope. This is dumb, and all of Moca’s plans have never done them any good. Except now she has to come up with an excuse and this is suddenly the hardest thing she's ever had to do.

“I, uh, I, er, I mean! I don’t—that’s, uh!” Tomoe’s stammering makes Saya give her an odd look. Moca’s shaking as she’s trying to hold back her laughter. And, out of sheer panic, even if she _knows_ it isn’t the best thing she should have done in this situation, she looks over at Moca for help.

Had she any foresight, she would have realized this was the worst thing she could have done, but panicking as hard as she did meant she wasn’t going to be thinking very straight.

Moca catches her eyes and heaves a tired sigh. “Oh okay, Moca-chan’s gotta do everything around here. Tomo-chin owes me for this!”

Owe her for what, is what Tomoe wants to ask, because Moca is _exactly_ the reason they’re— _she’s_ in this situation in the first place.

Moca turns back around to look at Saya, and waggles her eyebrows. That’s the worst thing she can do, Tomoe thinks. “Saya-chan, can I ask you something?” Moca asks, before adding. “Oh, by the way, remember that Tomo-chin was the one who wanted to ask you this.”

Tomoe is ready to scream, except all she can manage are the awkward muffled screeches at the back of her throat that no one else seems to hear. Well, except maybe Moca, not that it matters.

“Uh... sure?” Saya looks like she’s honestly not even sure of herself at this point. Moca grins at her, and lays it down.

“Are you an oven?”

Saya blinks. “I… um, _no?_ ”

Moca slaps the counter and narrows her eyes into a sleepy glare. “Wait, you’re doing it wrong, you’re supposed to answer why!”

“... was I?” Saya is completely lost and so is Tomoe.

Wait. No she’s not. She knows _exactly_ where this is going—

“... okay, then, uh, why?” Saya says, playing along. And Moca grins with the utmost confidence of a girl who knows she’s about to ruin her friend’s chances of asking out another girl and Tomoe counts down the seconds to her own doom even as she’s lurching forward to tear Moca away—

“Because you’re hot.”

Silence. A silence so quiet that it might be possible to hear the way Saya’s eyebrows shoot up.

Just, nothing, save for the sound of a man guffawing at the back of the bakery.

* * *

Tomoe’s phone hasn't stopped buzzing with notifications. The last thing she feels like doing right now is going through them, though. They’re all probably from Himari anyway. She’d caught Moca on her phone as they made the silent walk of shame over to Hazawa Coffee.

If only the floor could eat her up right here. Maybe if she asks, Tsugumi will let her hide in the kitchen or the freezer or… wherever can have Tomoe sitting in a corner of the room and peacefully meditate the rest of her life away. Sitting in a freezer in the middle of summer doesn’t even sound like a bad idea.

“Moca-chan thinks it all went well,” Moca says in between bites of her bread, like it wasn’t even her fault that this whole mess happened in the first place. Tomoe wants to glare at her but she also doesn’t want to lift her face off the table to do it. She doesn’t even want to _show_ her face to anyone else except her friends at this point. “And we got free bread out of it! Nice.”

Tomoe makes a sound. Moca thinks she sounds like a seal.

“Is… Tomoe-chan ok?” That’s Tsugumi’s voice. Tomoe makes the effort to lift her face, or at least her mouth off the table so her voice isn’t muffled, to greet her though she still sounds halfhearted. She puts her face back down. Tsugumi furrows her brow, looks between Tomoe with her face on the table and arms hanging down and at Moca who’s trying to look the picture of pure innocence. “Moca-chan, what did you even do _now?_ ”

“Scored some _hot_ bread,” Moca answers with a snicker but Tomoe makes another sound not unlike the yowl of a cat.

“Moca-chan…” Tsugumi’s understandably concerned, and while Tomoe would love to assure her that nothing’s wrong, she has to move past her utter shame and embarrassment first. That’s taking much longer than she likes to deal with. “Tomoe-chan, if you want, I can—” but the chime of the door rings before Tsugumi can finish and Tomoe knows Tsugumi’s already spinning around to greet who’s arrived.

“Welcome—oh!” Tomoe hears Tsugumi take a step, stangely pause, and then make her way over to the front.

“Watch a master at work,” Moca says as she taps Tomoe’s head. When Tomoe finally looks up, Moca’s pointing off to where Tsugumi is, standing near the door.

“What now,” Tomoe mutters, squinting her eyes—

Wait.

“... is that Sayo-san?” Tomoe squints harder. “Aren’t you reading a little too much into that?”

“What? Moca-chan didn’t say anything, are you sure Tomo-chin’s not the one looking too hard into it?”

Tomoe regrets talking. She stops to watch Tsugumi lead Sayo to a table instead, placing a menu down, but before Tsugumi can leave, Sayo is already shaking her head.

“The usual, please, Hazawa-san,” Sayo says.

Tomoe looks back at Moca, squinting at Moca now. “Why were we watching Tsugu again?”

“No reason, Moca-chan just wanted to do it.”

Tomoe wishes harder for the ground to swallow her up. Maybe it’ll take Moca as collateral too.

As if by magic chance, Tsugumi happens to glance over at them. She looks away before snapping her head right back at them, eyes wide. Tomoe’s not sure why she suddenly seems so bashful, but it must be the way Moca is grinning, and now Moca’s making an ‘ok’ sign with her hand. Tsugumi squeaks and scurries into the kitchen. Sayo watches her go, and then slowly turns around to look at them, confused. Tomoe can only shrug helplessly while Moca waves enthusiastically, or, well, as enthusiastically as someone like Moca can.

“Haha,” Moca laughs to herself, satisfied like she found an extra bag of bread.

Tomoe slowly puts her face back down on the table.

“What even was the point of that?” Tomoe asks with a groan.

“Hmmm... “ Tomoe knows Moca’s in her pretending to think pose, the one where she has a finger on her chin. “Moca-chan was just thinking that sometimes, people don’t realize what they have right under their noses.”

Somehow… the way Moca says that sounds a little… sad. Wistful, like she’s talking about something else entirely. Tomoe hesitantly looks up, wondering if Moca’s trying to say something to her—

Moca’s hugging her free baguette, sighing softly to herself. “Moca-chan will never let you go!”

Tomoe doesn’t know what else she expected.

* * *

A week passes before Tomoe can bring herself to go back to the bakery.

Rather, it’s more that Ako tugs on her hand, gesturing toward it. “Onee-chan, let’s get some bread! There’s an event this weekend so Ako wants to have some snacks!”

“A-ah? Is that so?” Tomoe awkwardly laughs. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to go, but… but… how is she supposed to show her face to Saya after what happened?

“Onee-chan?” Ako’s sounding a little worried now. “Are you okay? You and Saya-chan didn’t get into a fight, did you—”

“N-no!” Tomoe quickly shakes her head. “Of course not! Just… uh…” and Tomoe shakes her head again. “Nah, sorry, I was just thinking about something, we can go.” And before Ako can protest, Tomoe’s the one tugging her forward now, leading them to the bakery.

… Tomoe still doesn’t want to go inside, though.

“Uh, Ako, you can go inside by yourself, I’m still thinking about something so I’ll be out here,” Tomoe mumbles, pushing on Ako’s back a little bit and turning around before she can see Ako look at her in concern.

Tomoe feels a little bad about worrying Ako, but when she thinks about going inside…

How is she supposed to act after that disaster?! Tomoe won’t even be able to look at Saya in the eyes without even remembering that incident. And, what does Saya think of her now after everything? Probably how uncool she is now, with a line like that, even if Moca was the one who said it. Tomoe doesn’t want to think about it. Saya’s probably heard better lines—and Tomoe feels a part of her twisting inside again, when she thinks about how many people must have their eyes on Saya. Of course, who wouldn’t? For all the good Tomoe sees in her, she knows others can see the same too. Saya’s such an amazing girl, and Tomoe’s just—

“Tomoe?”

—and Tomoe nearly yells in alarm, her whole back stiffening as she snaps upright. Her eyes immediately zoom to her side but she already recognizes that voice.

“S-S-Saya!” Tomoe wonders if it’ll be rude if she runs in the opposite direction right now.

“Something the matter?” Saya’s expression turns worried. “Ako told me you were, ah, being a little strange?”

“Did she?” Tomoe looks into the bakery just as Ako comes out. Ako freezes in place, staring between the two of them.

“A-ah! Onee-chan and Saya-chan! Uh, uh…” and here she salutes. “A-Ako just remembered that she was meeting Rinrin somewhere! Ako will see you at home, Onee-chan!” Before Tomoe can say a word, she runs off, and goes into Hazawa Coffee instead.

… Tomoe can give her a scolding later.

“So…” Saya turns back to look at her. “Something up? Oh, does it have to do with last time—”

“Ah!” Tomoe waves her hands around, her whole face burning with embarrassment again. “Y-you don’t have to bring that up! It was Moca’s fault, I should’ve stopped her, but she just went and… and…” Tomoe stops speaking—more like she _can’t_ speak anymore, not with the way she’s so utterly embarrassed even recalling the memory.

“Ahaha… I had a feeling it was something Moca-chan was doing, don’t worry about it.” Saya laughs. “My dad got a good laugh out of it. If you see her, tell Moca-chan my dad enjoyed it.”

“... I’ll let her know.”

“He said it was so bad but it made him laugh a lot. One of the best ones he’s heard in a while,” Saya says with a laugh.

“A-ah, is that right—wait.” Tomoe narrows her eyes. “You mean… other people try to come around and tell you those lines too?” Something starts to twist inside Tomoe at that confirmation of her worse thoughts. It’s not a very good feeling.

Saya laughs and waves her away. “Oh, just some of the younger kids, you know? I mean, there might have been a few, but…” And, strangely, there’s an amused glint in her eyes. “Ever since Dad put up the poster of Kaoru-san and me all dressed up, they’ve all kind of stopped now.”

“O-oh.” That’s a relief. Or, at least, that’s what Tomoe thinks, but she’s feeling something else entirely. Like… it’s good, but at the same time, there’s something that’s still bothering her. She doesn’t like this feeling. Saya might not think so, but Saya is well-liked, and a popular girl around here, Tomoe knows.

That’s why…

“Uh, Saya, so… you’re not busy right now, right?” Tomoe’s eyes glance back toward the bakery. She catches how Saya glances back at it too, clearly thinking about it by the way she bites her lip in thought.

“It’s… it’ll be fine. I’m just stepping out for a few minutes. I haven’t had a break yet so!” Saya nods, but there’s something about that that doesn’t sit right with Tomoe. She’s already reaching out to place a gentle hand on Saya’s arm, an action that she’s always done.

“Hey, don’t overwork yourself,” she says softly, “remember to take care of yourself.”

“I know,” Saya answers but she says it so automatically that Tomoe feels a little pang shoot through her. Her hand squeezes down, as if trying to remind Saya she’s still there.

“Really, don’t overdo it,” Tomoe says, wishing there’s something else she can say instead, wishing that there’s something she can do that’ll really convince Saya to take care of herself. “I’m here if you need anything,” she finishes in a mumble. She’s said these words tons of times, it feels a little… hollow at this point.

But Saya only looks up at her and gives her that little smile that makes Tomoe freeze up. “It means a lot when you tell me that, Tomoe. Thank you.”

Something warm bursts in Tomoe’s chest when she sees that smile. Saya’s smiles are always so genuine, so full of warmth. She really likes Saya’s smiles, would really like it if she could see it more too.

… she’s getting a little mushy now. Tomoe awkwardly clears her throat. “I—uh, yeah, I’m always here for you, don’t forget that! And, uh, everyone else too, you know?”

“Everyone else, too, huh?” For some reason, Saya sounds a little more wistful, and Tomoe thinks she might be imagining it, but… disappointed? Tomoe’s not sure. Sometimes, Saya’s kind of hard to read, too.

“Saya, can we, uh, talk?” Tomoe finally says. “There’s something I should let you know.”

“Oh!” Saya nods. “Yeah! Of course we can. Maybe we should go somewhere else, then?” Saya suggests, gesturing toward the street. It’s the best idea Tomoe’s heard all day.

“Y-yeah! Let’s, uh, do that,” she says, eagerly nodding her head. Anywhere is better than being at the bakery right now.

The shopping district isn’t too busy right now and they manage to find an empty bench soon.

“Don’t want you to go too far out, here will work,” Tomoe says. She gestures for Saya to take a seat before sitting down next to her.

Tomoe smooths her hands over the top of her legs, taking a deep breath. Moca’s been sending her nothing but dumb lines for the past week, telling her to pick out her favorite, but Tomoe can’t do that. She can’t do that to Saya, who deserves honesty.

… and also because Tomoe thinks she might just faint on the spot instead if she starts one of those lines. She’s really going to need to have to give a good scolding to Moca sometime soon, maybe after she’s finished with this. At least Tsugumi and Himari were sending her nicer messages to make up for Moca’s.

So, Tomoe finally turns and faces Saya fully.

“I like you,” she says.

Saya stares at her, stares at her for such a long time that Tomoe thinks she might have just made the biggest mistake of her very short life.

Maybe… maybe she should add a little more context.

“I, uh, have feelings,” Tomoe continues.

Saya still stares at her.

“For you,” she makes sure to add.

Saya doesn’t even blink.

Tomoe’s hands are all but digging into her legs at this point. It’s what she has to do to make herself stop from running away. Nothing she’s ever felt in her life compares to this moment. Maybe when they performed their live in front of Ran’s father for the first time, she thinks that might be comparable. Her heart pounding with both nervousness and excitement, her palms sweaty and hands shaking at the thought of what might happen next…

The more Tomoe thinks about Saya’s response, the scarier it feels. The chance that Saya might not feel the same, the chance that Saya might even start to think differently of her, the chance that Saya might even start to be awkward around her—

But, Tomoe’s gone and said it, like she told Ran she would, like she wanted. It’s out there in the open, and Tomoe would rather live with being rejected than to not even confess at all.

It’s only a few seconds but they feel like centuries until Saya finally reacts. And what she does is beam at Tomoe, full of sunshine and stars and all those other words Ako likes to use to describe her attacks. “I like you, too, Tomoe.”

Tomoe swears her heart skips as many beats as Himari does in practice.

“You’re such a wonderful friend, I couldn’t ask for anyone else,” Saya continues, and, oh, no, wait, this isn’t what Tomoe meant. No, she needs to _explain_ —

“Ah, no! I meant, if like, uh, you and Seta-senpai were to go and, uh, get married again—I mean, actually married for real—wait that doesn't sound right either—anyway! I meant, like as in I'd come interrupt your wedding again! Because that's how much I—” and Tomoe furrows her brow, a new realization coming to her. “Wait, doesn't that sound bad? I-I mean, I know Seta-senpai would treat you right, but, uh—uh! She’s… I-I mean, I’d want to, er, take her place instead. You know?”

Tomoe looks over at Saya, and finds Saya staring at her with wide eyes and her mouth open. Is… is that normal? Tomoe’s not sure, so she decides to wait instead.

“... oh my,” is all Saya finally decides to say. Tomoe… doesn’t know how to feel about that. Saya looks away, her hands slowly coming to her own face. “O-oh.”

Tomoe hesitantly raises a hand, not sure of whether it’s okay or not. But Saya’s blushing, and she can’t look at Tomoe right now. That’s… maybe that’s a good thing? Is it? Tomoe doesn’t know! She doesn’t have any sort of experience with this. Girls give her chocolates all the time but it doesn’t mean Tomoe actually has any practical experience!

Saya suddenly shakes her head, and Tomoe feels a knot starting to form inside. That’s… that’s bad, right? With Saya’s hands on her own face, she can’t really see Saya’s expression right now, but… something like that, it has to be bad, right? Tomoe doesn’t know anymore. Maybe she’s done more harm, going and confessing like this. They’re such good friends and they’ve known each other for a long time, and Saya must feel awkward being put on the spot.

“Tomoe.”

At the call of her name, Tomoe snaps upright, stiff as she looks over at Saya. “Y-yeah?!”

Saya’s hands are still on her face, and when she turns to look at Tomoe, she still looks just as bewildered, in sheer disbelief. “Can… can you pinch me?”

“S-Saya?!”

“I just… I just want to make sure this isn’t a dream, because…” Saya’s eyes break contact again as she laughs nervously. “This is kind of so sudden, I just—I’m just!” She claps her cheeks, as if she’s trying to wake herself up. Tomoe doesn’t think she’s ever seen Saya this flustered, or, well, Tomoe dosen’t think she’s ever really seen Saya flustered like this, actually. Tomoe knows Saya as someone who’s always kept her cool, and seeing her like this is…

But, she doesn’t know how Saya actually feels. So she keeps herself patient, waiting for Saya to compose herself. It’s a little hard staying patient, though, when Tomoe herself feels like she’s just so ready to… ready to _explode_ , or something crazy like that. Ako might have some better words for her. It feels like the anticipation might kill her at this point. But…

Tomoe swallows, trying to keep her voice steady as she speaks. “I just, ah, wanted you to know. You don’t have to say anything, or even answer. I’m sure you’ve got tons of other things to do, and…” She awkwardly scratches the back of her neck. “I just, uh, yeah. That’s… I guess that was all I needed to tell you—”

“Why?”

Tomoe blinks, wondering if she misheard. But when she looks over at Saya, she finds Saya looking down at her lap, eyes downcast, and there’s something about that expression that makes a small part of Tomoe snap a little, because she doesn’t know why Saya has to look so sad.

“Why? Because—because!” Tomoe’s trying not to sputter but there’s so many words she can say and she’s trying so hard not to say them all at the same time at once. “Because you’re an amazing girl, Saya! You’re always working so hard for others, you’re one of the kindest, but toughest people I know, dealing with so much! And when you smile, you’re so… so warm, and pretty—ah! Not that I don’t think you’re not pretty when you don’t smile, but you’re still beautiful to me!”

Tomoe knows she’s sounding like she’s ranting and raving and she has so much more to talk about, but Saya’s looking at her in disbelief again, like she can hardly believe what Tomoe is saying. But Tomoe understands why Saya feels like that, understands that Saya has... always… never thought about herself in the way Tomoe is telling her. Which is a shame!

“When you ask me why, what am I supposed to say?!” Tomoe gives Saya one of her biggest grins she thinks she’s ever made. “I like all of you, Saya! And I’ll tell you that as many times as you want!” And Tomoe dials back some of her enthusiasm, realizing something else. “O-oh! Only if you want me to, of course.”

Saya blinks at her. Tomoe’s kind of worked herself up and now she’s breathing a little harder than normal, but that’s fine. If she could, she’d shout it all out, if that’s what it’ll take for Saya. She doesn’t mind that at all.

The seconds pass, and, slowly, Saya lets out a shaky breath. She looks up at Tomoe, shyly, and quickly looks down again. Tomoe wants to reach out, to hold her face, and tell her again, just to show how her how sincere and honest she’s being, but Saya is reaching out, slowly taking one of Tomoe’s hands into both of hers.

“I, yes. I… I like you too, Tomoe. I just… I just didn’t think you would… I—yes,” Saya finally says, nodding her head slowly. The grin on Tomoe’s face grows impossibly bigger, until she sees the tears falling. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Tomoe laughs, reaching out with her other hand already. She tries to swipe away some of the tears from Saya’s face. “Nah, that’s fine! You need someone to take of you too, Saya! So if you don’t… if you don’t mind, I’d like to be that person for you.”

Saya makes a small sound, shaking her head. “You want to take care of even someone like me—”

“Even someone like you!” Tomoe says with as much conviction as she can. She cups Saya’s face and forces her to look up, to look at Tomoe, who’s overflowing with her feelings, so much to the point where she takes her other hand, the one that Saya’s grabbed, and brings their hands closer to her chest. If there's one thing Tomoe knows she does well, it's that she always gives her all into everything she does, like right now, as she declares as strongly as possible, “ _I_ like you! I _like_ you! I like _you!_ ”

And now, it _finally_ looks like it’s getting through to Saya that what Tomoe is saying isn’t a joke, that what Tomoe’s been trying to tell her is all real, and what Tomoe’s been trying to convey isn’t a dream at all.

Still, Tomoe’s caught a little off guard when Saya suddenly moves forward, leaning against Tomoe’s shoulder, strands of her hair brushing against Tomoe’s face. Tomoe wraps her arms around Saya, tentatively rubbing her back in what she hopes makes Saya feel better.

It takes a bit for Saya to finally calm down. Tomoe doesn’t blame her. When’s the last time Saya cried like this? Tomoe doesn’t know when she did the same. There’s just something about being an older sister that makes them feel like they have to be strong, even when they’re at their breaking point. But having a good cry like this is good, too, especially for Saya.

When Saya stops shaking, Tomoe gathers her courage to ask, “Feeling better?”

Saya inhales, and lets out a deep breath. Finally, she nods, and pulls away, looking up at Tomoe. Her eyes are red, and her nose is a little runny, and her hair’s a bit mussed, but Tomoe thinks she still looks amazing. “Yes… I am, thank you, Tomoe.” She moves back, and Tomoe takes the hint to let go, but she takes one of Saya’s hands, rubbing circles on it. “I didn’t mean to do that, but I’m... “ Saya closes her eyes and takes another deep breath. “I’m… just… I was just so happy, you know? So I kind of… um…”

“I understand!” Tomoe quickly says with a nod. “Sometimes, you just gotta let it out like that! Nothing wrong with it.” Saya doesn’t say anything, but she squeezes Tomoe’s hand, and that’s really just as good an answer for Tomoe.

“You know… when you came into the chapel that day…” Saya moves her head and meets Tomoe’s eyes. “I thought you were pretty cool.”

“Y-yeah?” Tomoe can hardly believe what she’s hearing. She’s embarrassed, oh yeah she is, but she probably has the biggest and dumbest grin on her face right now. “Y-you thought so?”

“I’ve always admired how you could just… _do_ things. And then you came bursting through those doors for me…” Saya lets out a small giggle. “Honestly, it did make me a little happy.”

Tomoe doesn’t know what she’s feeling right now. Indescribable warmth? Like she might just explode from all the happiness she feels inside? She doesn’t know, but she feels _great._

Saya looks at her then, looks her up and down. “I think you’d look good in that white suit, too,” she mumbles.

… Tomoe’s not sure what she’s feeling now, but her whole face is burning hot, like an oven.

Saya quickly clears her throat and stands up. “I-I’m sorry, I really would like to stay and, um, talk some more, but I have to get back to the bakery now.” She smiles apologetically.

Tomoe quickly stands up, shaking her head. “Don’t apologize for that! I was the one who asked you out here. And, uh, we can talk tonight, if you’re not too tired.”

“Yes, that… that’d be fine with me.” It’s a little strange to hear Saya being flustered, but Tomoe knows she’s not much better. She wonders if Saya’s feeling the same exact thing she’s feeling, though.

Saya nods, turning around and walks off. Except she pauses mid-step and turns on her heels, walking back to Tomoe, who’s blinking at Saya and wondering what she’s doing. And before Tomoe realizes, Saya leans in again and presses her lips to Tomoe’s cheek.

Tomoe’s frozen, her eyes being the only part of her she can move as she stares at Saya, who steps back and has such a red face that Tomoe thinks she might as well have a fever. But Tomoe knows she’s not much better herself either, feeling like she might just burn up on the spot.

“I-I know I don’t seem like it, but I’m… I’m just, really so happy right now, and…” Saya awkwardly shuffles her feet.

“Bakery,” Tomoe gasps out, and Saya widens her eyes, as if she _forgot_ about going home.

“R-right! I’ll see you later, Tomoe!” and now Saya spins on her heels and runs right off again.

Tomoe blinks at the spot where Saya’d been. Dimly, she’s aware of one of her hands touching her cheek, the same spot where… where Saya… where Saya k—

“ _Yeah!_ ” Tomoe pumps a fist, grinning as wide as she can. She feels like her face might hurt tomorrow with how wide she’s smiling but she doesn’t care about that at all—she _can’t_ care about that at all anymore. Everything pales in comparison to what’s just happened in the last several minutes. She pumps her fist again, not caring that the strangers walking down the street are looking at her strangely. “Yeah!” she says again, if only because she can’t scream as loud as she wants like she wants to do.

Tomoe’s figured out her problem but she’s got a new one now, and it's that she _really_ can’t wait to see Saya again.


End file.
